Monday, May 19, 2008

The O or 1 scale

Dear Friends,

I want to introduce you to something that changed my life. It's not a new health fad or a religion. It's something far superior to both those shitty things. It's called the zero or one scale and it will blow your fucking mind.

I first learned of the 0/1 scale as a freshmen in college from a friend. Since then some changes and variations have occurred but the basic principal remains the same. A "0" is anything you would regret and a "1" is anything you wouldn't regret. At first this system was created entirely for the purpose of judging females. The founding fathers saw too many flaws in the over-hyped traditional 1-10 scale used by so many. Being able to quickly gage a room of chicks and formulate 0's or 1's was amazingly efficient and also served as a pseudo code for you and your friends.

An interesting thing happened after that. If you could use the 0/1 to measure girls why couldn't you apply it to everything in life? The simple answer is you can. For example, reading this blog is probably a 1. Good food is a 1, bad food a 0, you can use it for sports etc...

Go ahead and give it a shot, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at the results. Also, feel free to pay on the scale to your other friends. Think of it as paying it forward.

I'll break down the scale here and include a couple of commonly accepted variations:

A One: You wouldn't regret.

A Zero: You would regret.

A Montross: A double zero, or in other words a really fucking disgusting girl- when used in the original context. Named after former UNC basketball great and number 00 Eric Montross. Very commonly accepted variation.

One +: a 1+ in shorthand. An extremely hot girl. This is a hotly contested variation flat out rejected by the original creators of the scale. I do use the term though, but think it can only be applied to the hottest of hot girls and is extremely rare. My definition of a 1+ is a girl who you would cut your pinky off to have sex with. Seriously it's that rare to find a 1+. Assholes who try to abuse the 0/1 scare frequently hand out far too many 1+'s.

An Isiah: Two 1's standing next to each other, thus forming an 11. Named after former Piston great Isiah Thomas #11. The terminology might be slightly off, but this is widely accepted in the 0/1 community.

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