This post is kind of strange but the type of shit me and my friends talk about. This post is just a continuation of a conversation I actually had. So if I were to name my dick after professional athletes these are some possible choices as well as explanations.
Magic Johnson- because it keeps getting fatter as I get older and it is filled with AIDS. Also, note the pun with the word "johnson."
Ryan Leaf- It has a lot of natural talent, but it doesn't have the head to play the game at the highest level.
Cedric Benson- It peaked in college and now has alcohol problems.
Big Brown- It's good for 2 out of 3 and is also descriptive of physical appearance.
A-ROD- It looks pretty and can put up some big numbers, but can't perform in big spots. Rod is also a pun.
Usaine Bolt-I get it done at world record speeds and the race lasts about 9 seconds.
Jim Brown- Because it's militant and is looking for a career in show business.
John Mackey- because it can't remember much of its career.
Dick Butkus- This one is just outrageous. Dick is an obvious choice. Butkus sounds like butt kiss which is a joke on itself. And it's also mean with a little bit of a mustache.
Dwayne Wade- The girls like it, but its overrated.
Mean Joe Greene- It's mean, big and green because of an STD.
Kerry Wood- Its reputation is based off a performance from 10 years ago. Wood is also a bit of a pun.
That's all for now, but try and think of some of your own. This may become a regular segment on the blog.
